I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize