I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
