This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i love accidental penises.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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