I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
