Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
