He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize