dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
