whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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