I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Randomize
