I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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