Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
farters have to be the big spoon...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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