Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
