i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
