Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she smelled like a LAN party
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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