Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
