Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
