anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
