No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The adults are the big ones right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
