I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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