break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
