ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
