the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
