Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
