have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
