I skipped work to stalk him.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
