dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize