We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He passed out mid-signature
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
His nipple licking is glorious
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