i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
