my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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