Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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