Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
