I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
