I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize