Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
