Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
