I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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