Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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