after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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