That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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