I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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