Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize
