I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I got inside last night via doggy door
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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