your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Randomize
