dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
