his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
