Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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