I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
this will be a night to untag.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
