ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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