So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
