Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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