The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
