this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize