If i come over, it means nothing
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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