We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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