Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize