I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
