I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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