hotel room ftw
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i wish my penis had a tongue
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
