I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
so much tequila, so little girl.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
