she was so not down for the gang bang
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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