I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
