I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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