the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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