Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
