If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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