No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
