But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
