Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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