i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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