you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Vodka?
Forever.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
