Dual....:-)
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
