sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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