Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
