I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
