I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
